Friday, 27 July 2012

Happy Birthday, Mom

Today, boyf and I attended a seminar regarding “pre-marriage” as a requirement for an incoming event that is happening in October. I was totally amused because we were well educated about family planning, we were also taught about home management and how to achieve our individual roles in the future.

I think of my mother while the seminar is going on because today is Her special day as she is celebrating another year of Her life, my Mom like my Dad is the most important person to me although we argue a lot, but in all honesty she duly trained me to be mature and independent person. I would say that my Mom is the kindest person I know, she loved to lend a hand to people who are in need of help, especially when it comes to old people, maybe because of a huge influence of my grandparents who’s very loving as well. I remember, for the past two years up until at present she would initiate feeding program, giving out vitamins and slippers to some rural areas in our province. That’s how benevolent my Mom is. Who wouldn’t be proud of that?

She taught us a lot of things about life, how to deal with our own struggles and how to fight for it. Mom instructed to always keep our feet off the ground in times of triumph and would always remind us to look back where we came from and to be proud of our roots. She sacrificed her career and had to stop working to look after us as we grow up, she find ways and means to grant our demands (May it be material thing), she thoroughly assisted us in our assignments and supports us in any activities during our school days even at present, she would even cry if we were heart broken, a good listener indeed.

Her role as a mother is beyond measure, I truly understand now how much my mother throws in when it comes to us. Ma, I know you have to take in all the aches that has been going on for a while specially with Papa’s condition, thank you because you never fail to perform your job as a mother and as a wife, thank you for being strong for Papa and for us, thank you for the unending love you have poured unto us. I am very proud to have you as my mother and I will forever be thankful for everything you have done for us. This day, I wish you good health and that you and the rest of the family will be safe always, I love you to death, Ma.

To the best Mom in the world, Happy happy Birthday.. =))

If I have to live again and asked to choose a mother, I would definitely look for her and pick her, that’s how much my Mom influenced me a lot.


Thursday, 19 July 2012

Daughter’s Cry

November 2011 (his 1st attack - the day when he was discharged from the hospital)

March 2012 (2 months before his 2nd fatal attack)

My heart was frayed straight away when my sister told me about my father’s condition. After being spotted with stoke for almost 2 months, which I also blogged about. His neurologist evaluated him with Expressive Aphasia after their recent check-up. Aphasia is a communication disorder. It's a result of damage or injury to language parts of the brain. Aphasia gets in the way of a person's ability to use or understand words.

I have the answers to my questions, every time I get the change to talk to him he would just utter words repetitively when I ask him if he is done eating, what did he ate, did he took his medicines but still the same words are uttered like “Oo”, “Kuan”. Honestly, I am very hurt, the pain I am bearing right now is cruel, the same question came to mind, I just don’t understand why this has to happen why to my father and why do we have to suffer this blow. I sometimes feel that the world is adjacent to us and all ghastly things involuntarily occurred. (ing-ani nlng jud mi ka malas?) My father may only utter those words and could not communicate well, but deep within him he is struggling for us to understand what he is trying to convey which for me is very heartbreaking.

God, please give me the courage to understand things and accept them with all my heart. I just could not comprehend that things are happening the least I have projected. I know GOD seized everything that has been going on with our lives, but please, cure my father or at least alleviate some depressing things that have been going on with my life. I missed talking to my Dad, I missed how his ideas and mine cling together, I missed those days when we talk anything and everything, I miss it when he crack a joke, I missed his advises, I miss his smile, I miss my father sooo much. My father knows how much I love him because I have been telling him that since I was little, he knows how much I appreciate him as a father because my sisters and I have a good relationship with him. Some have their own heroes but he is our superhero. That’s how proud we are with our Dad.

Optimism is perched all around us that my Dad will be treated. I don’t have any idea if he will be well with this Expressive Aphasia thing but my family are doing the best we can to have him back to normal. One day, he will learn to converse again and as the usual we will have a good long talk and that all of us will be happy with no fears and anxieties hiding our sacks. As his eldest daughter I will cry for hope and wish that he will be okay in GOD’s time.



Psalm 107:01